it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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