Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
