I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
