just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
