Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
