Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
