What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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