Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
