Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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