He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
