Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
