what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
