You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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