I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
