That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
