I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
