Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Soap is not a condiment
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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