Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize