Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
