Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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