omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
