I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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