Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
