Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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