Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
there is glitter all over my balls
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
