And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
