He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
