I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
