I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
