What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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