i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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