I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
