I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
