weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
