He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
