You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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