It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize