If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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