who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
