Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
