Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
handjob tips. give me some.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
