the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
