Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
