Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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