i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
