Umm I'm too high to move.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
