I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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