Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
