before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
