whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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