Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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