Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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