Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
