if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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