He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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