I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
