i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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