He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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