Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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