Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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