i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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