Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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