I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
