This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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