no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
