I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
