I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
