hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
