I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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