At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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