Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
